How We Deal with Conflict – Hugh Smiley

Here are 4 questions re you and your relationship with conflict that you might ponder before our Zoom sessions:

• How do you view, define, understand conflict?
• What did you learn about conflict in your family of origin (or from the person/people         who raised you)?
• How do you deal with conflict when you feel – grounded, balanced, happy, calm,                confident?
• How do you deal with conflict when you feel – ungrounded, anxious, out of balance,           nervous, tired, frustrated, depressed, lack of confidence?

Conflict is best seen as an opportunity to understand our differences, since that’s when conflict usually arises – when we see something differently.

• the 5 responses to conflict:                                         1. avoid (run away), 2. predominate, 3. submit,           4. compromise, 5. collaborate

Verbal Experiments in mindfulness:                       In a mindful state, notice what happens when you hear the following words …
  “All of your feelings are welcome here.”                 “What you have to say is important.”

Look around the room and identify the person you’re most intrigued by, scared of, relaxed with, etc. Observe how these reactions manifest in your body, feelings and thinking patterns.

Hugh is creator of the Korason Method for Authentic Voice & Dialogue.

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